I know the conventional message at Christmas is about creating magical family moments. But this year I'm going to be working on ignoring my kids a bit. Here are the reasons why I'm going to be (trying) to step back a little more:

1. They'll Actually Get Better at Solving Problems

The Christmas period brings endless opportunities for conflict: new toys, excited kids, disrupted routines. My natural instinct is to jump in and try and resolve every dispute. This Christmas I'm going to be stepping back a bit. What I'm finding when I do is that they eventually figure it out. Yes, there's more noise initially. Yes, it feels uncomfortable. But they're learning crucial skills:

• Negotiation
• Compromise
• Emotional regulation
• Conflict resolution

These are exactly the skills they'll need throughout life - and exactly the ones they won't develop if I'm always jumping in to fix things.

2. I'll Become Better at Managing Stress (At Home and Work)

Constant intervention is exhausting. If we're not careful we can end each day drained from being referee, judge, and jury. Now, when I hear the inevitable arguments starting, my plan is to:

• Take a moment to pause
• Assess if intervention is truly needed
• Practice managing my own stress response

I think this approach can improve my professional life too. Developing these skills that help me stay calm during the fifteenth argument about the TV remote will help build the muscle to stay calm in managing team conflicts and high-stress work situations.

A simple technique I'm practicing:

1. Pause when tension rises
2. Take three deep breaths
3. Ask myself: "Do they really need my help right now?"
4. Wait at least two minutes before intervening

3. Everyone Will Actually Enjoy the Holiday More

I reckon that less intervention leads to:

• More genuine problem-solving between siblings
• Reduced overall tension (once everyone adjusts)
• Fewer power struggles
• More authentic relationships
• Less parental burnout

When to Still Step In

Of course, some situations do require intervention. I'll be stepping in when:

• There's risk of physical harm
• Bullying is occurring
• Emotional abuse is happening
• Property damage is likely

The rest? It's probably an opportunity for learning and growth.

A Professional Payoff?

There is a good chance that this approach won't just make home life easier - it will improve my leadership skills. The parallels I see between managing family conflicts and leading teams are:

• Knowing when to intervene versus when to let things play out
• Building others' capacity to solve problems
• Managing your own emotional responses
• Setting clear boundaries while allowing autonomy

Looking Forward

As we head into the holiday season, I'm setting realistic expectations. There will be arguments. There will be conflicts. But instead of seeing these as problems to solve, I'm viewing them as opportunities - for my kids to develop resilience, and for me to practice better leadership.

This isn't about being a hands-off parent or an uninvolved leader. It's about being strategic with our intervention, understanding that sometimes the best thing we can do is nothing at all.

So this Christmas, when the inevitable sibling disputes break out, try taking a step back. Make yourself a coffee. Take a deep breath. You might be surprised at what everyone learns in the process.

As a coach working with busy professionals, I often see how these same dynamics of stepping back and strategic non-intervention create breakthroughs in both our personal and professional life. Check out my coaching page to find out more.